How to Train Willpower: Lessons from Milton Erickson

Milton Erickson is the person who turned hypnosis, metaphor, and humor into powerful tools for change. His life itself is a story of grit, imagination, and remarkable adaptability. It begins with:

Paralysis and the Mirror

At 17 (in 1919) Milton Erickson fell ill with poliomyelitis. He was almost completely paralyzed—unable to speak, move, and barely able to breathe. Doctors believed he would not survive.

There was a large mirror in his room, positioned so he could see his own reflection. Since he couldn’t move his body, he began closely observing tiny muscular movements in the mirror: a twitch of a finger, a barely visible motion of a lip or eyelid. He started using imagination to “train” his muscles. He pictured himself walking, swimming, riding—“seeing” the movements in his mind while mentally rehearsing them.

These mental exercises gradually turned into small, real movements. After months of this “mirror training,” Erickson regained partial mobility, and after 11 months he began walking with crutches. The doctors were shocked—recovery had seemed impossible. And yet, no one could imagine what would follow.

Crutches and the Canoe

During his first summer break from the University of Wisconsin (age 21, in 1922), Erickson set himself a challenge to accelerate recovery: a long solo canoe trip—about 1,000 miles down the Mississippi. He still used crutches because walking was difficult. The plan: paddle, camp alone, carry minimal gear.

The journey was extremely demanding: paddling with weakened arms, coping with fatigue, and finding ways to get by with limited strength. But precisely this built two things: physical strength (through daily repetition) and psychological resilience (learning he could endure far more than he thought). Because he carried very little—his body couldn’t handle weight—he often relied on fishermen and people along the river who fed and helped him. He left with crutches. He returned without them—his body had grown strong enough.

Three short cases Erickson told with humor

1) The “Big Feet”

A teenage girl had developed a strong complex—she was convinced her feet were too big. Shame made her refuse to go out and avoid social contact. Her life had shrunk to her room. Erickson was invited to the family home (house calls were common in his early years). He spoke calmly with the girl’s father in the living room, seemingly not paying direct attention to the daughter. Suddenly he stood up and asked where the bathroom was. On the way he “tripped” on the girl’s feet on purpose, stopped, and with a completely serious tone said:

“I’m sorry… I didn’t see them. Your feet are so small.”

This simple but brilliant remark—in a context where the girl expected mockery—flipped her perspective. For the first time an adult did not confirm her fear; he reversed it. The complex “collapsed”—soon she overcame the block, went out again, and resumed a normal life.

2) The Gap Between the Teeth

Another girl was anxious about her appearance. She had a visible gap between her front teeth (a diastema) and believed it made her unattractive. The belief was so strong she thought, “No man will marry me because I look strange.” Her parents sought Erickson’s help. He told the girl:

“You know what? Use the gap between your teeth. Go to the square, by the fountain. When you see a boy you like, spray water through your teeth at him. Let that be your special way to surprise him.”

The girl took it with humor. Instead of being ashamed, she turned the feature into playfulness and charm. The story ends with a boy who appreciated her sense of humor—and later they married.

3) Washing Hands 100 Times

A man came to Erickson with severe obsessive–compulsive symptoms. His main ritual was hand washing—so exhausting and intrusive that he washed about 50 times a day, ruining work, social life, and daily functioning. He was worn out from trying to stop and begged Erickson to help him “get rid of it.” Erickson said:

“No, you won’t stop. Starting tomorrow you’ll wash your hands 100 times a day. But on a schedule—for example: 10 times before breakfast,10 times before lunch,10 times before dinner,…and so on until you reach 100. I want you to count carefully and record every wash on a sheet of paper.”*

The man was shocked—he expected a ban; instead he got a prescription to intensify the compulsion. But he took it seriously. On the very first day he realized it was physically and emotionally impossible to wash 100 times on schedule. He began to skip. Within days the ritual lost its power—from something that controlled him to a ridiculous task imposed from outside. In a short time, the number of washes dropped dramatically…

Milton Erickson never fully recovered from polio. He used a cane throughout his life, and during his last decade a wheelchair, due to instability and limited leg strength. Even so, he never stopped working, seeing patients, and teaching.

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